Monday, January 28, 2013

life

life around here these days has been a little plain.

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the usual things are filling our hours.

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and as january plods on to a close, i think we're about ready for a change.

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although i'm posting cute, happy pictures, please know that these plain days i'm describing have also held all the normal things that i really don't ever take pictures of.

laundry, arguments with children, frustration teaching math, laziness, grumpiness (apologizing to children), etc.

{example: jason and samuel were outside and samuel asked jason, "how old is our house?" "about 50-60 years old." samuel- "oh. is that why it's so dirty?"}

fantastic.

i will admit to you that i've been a bit tempted to discouragement these past weeks. feeling like i can never quite reach the top of any of my piles. i keep looking around and feeling like i'm maintaining my life at half-capacity.

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i'm going to try to have eyes to see truth today. truth about the love my Father has for me. truth about His death and resurrection. truth about me. and the hope and joy that it all brings.

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get my eyes off my list. and fixed on Him. He's the only way. and He's so nice to me.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

psalm 22

jason and i had the opportunity to attend a CCEF conference back in october. it was a really lovely weekend where our brains were jammed full of lots to think about and discuss.

one of the breakout seminars that i got to attend was one on worship. specifically, how can we (people who plan worship services) do our best to help people struggling with feelings of guilt, shame and isolation to feel a sense of community and acceptance. 

there were a lot of things spoken of in this seminar that were very informative and helpful. but one of them really took my by surprise. 

our speaker was talking about how community is built and felt when we read scripture aloud together. then, he mentioned reading passages like psalm 22 and what a relief and comfort that passage is for everyone at different times in their lives and that it has a place in our sunday morning gathering. 

i'm sure i made some kind of quizzical expression as he was talking about this, as i seem incapable of controlling my facial muscles most of the time. here is a bit of the psalm for you. perhaps you'll understand where my questions were stemming from:

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
   Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?
O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, 
   and by night, but I find no rest.

this is not your usual Sunday morning, worship fare. we usually fill our mornings with songs of rejoicing and comfort. not often words of despair. 

but oh what a comfort these words have been to me when i've been weeping alone in my room. that david felt what i have felt. that generations of believers have read that psalm and surely had it resonate deeply in their souls at one time or another. what a true comfort. 

and for people arriving sunday morning who barely found the strength to walk in the door- who are trying to stand while weighted by stones of guilt, shame, trial, etc. 

comfort. 

the psalm continues:

Yet you are holy, 
   enthroned on the praises of Israel.
In you our fathers trusted;
   they trusted, and you delivered them.
To you they cried and were rescued;
   in you they trusted and were not put to shame.

how good it is to remember those that have gone before us. when i'm feeling lonely and full of despair- hopeless. it is good to remember those that have gone before. 

as i imagined a person standing in front of my sunday congregation and reading this psalm, my initial questions fell away. and tears began to fall instead. because i've been here. i'm sure i will be again. and my friends are/have been here as well, not to mention whole communities of faith that i've never met. what a joy it is that we can declare together, when things look their blackest-- when you feel as though your Holy Redeemer has turned His back, we can say, "remember. we are a community now. we have felt this. generations have been here. remember His past goodness. we are here. with you."

He is so good and kind. what a caring Father to give us this passage. to allow us to speak words of loneliness and isolation to a Father who never leaves- never forsakes. He's so very very nice to us. 

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Wednesday, January 16, 2013

spoiled

my family lives states away. has lived that way for most of our 9 years here in lovely South Carolina.

my sister moved yesterday. to north carolina.

i got to help her. the kids and i drove the short 2.5 hours to her new apartment and helped set up shop.

i can't tell you how excited i am to have a family member this close. erica and i keep saying to each other, "i just have no idea what this will be like..." because neither of us have a reference point.

and tomorrow i will get on a plane and fly to the home of my other sister. two sisters in one week.

i feel spoiled.

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the days over at my house have been dreary ones. i've lost count of how many there have been in a row. lots of clouds. lots of rain.

and, while i know my older sister has about 3 months of this every winter and i know that my situation could be worse, i've still struggled to get out of bed. smile. be motivated- for anything.

i would love some sunshine. but in the waiting, i've been looking at springtime photos. here are a couple for you just in case you're in the same boat.


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Monday, January 14, 2013

lil' miss

a few words need to be said about this lil' miss:

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children go through growing phases. and this one has entered into a new one. i can't quite fully define it or wrap it up into a nice package. but she is different. a new phase has come. her thoughts are communicated more clearly. her ideas come more readily. her imagination is spinning and racing at a pace i can't keep up with.

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she'll be four next month. four. and i'm watching her lose her toddler-ways and embrace some big-kid stuff. she's growing. so beautifully.

she's one you can't ever quite keep up with. but you want to. i'm so glad we get to have her here with us.

Monday, January 7, 2013

2012 recap

well it's time for my annual retrospective. i love this exercise. reviewing the past year and looking at all the good. there is so much.

here are some favorite 2012 moments:

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what a year. good things. i'll say it again-- i love being able to do this. thankful once again for this space that records and remembers the things i'm apt to forget.

and, here's to more. another trip around the sun. more months of good good stuff.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

i'm here

happy january, friends. happy fresh start. new month. new year.

please forgive the long silence. christmas came. that's all i've got by way of excuses/reasons.

we travelled to texas for the holiday. what a drive, folks. what. a. drive.

we had some perfect moments together.

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and a few pockets of rest.

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lots of celebrating and eating. it was good.

and on christmas day in dallas, who could have guessed:

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it was samuel's wish and prayer. snow on christmas. it was magical.

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i hope all of your holidays were festive and joy-filled. i finished taking down all the decorations last night. i feel like i can breath easier this morning. more space, or something. and ready to think on the year past and the year ahead. good stuff.

back soon.