school again

these two started school this past week.



yep. these two crazy cool kids.



(yes. i ask my kids to stand outside under a tree for their first-day-of-school photos. yes. i ask them to put backpacks on. and yes. they also climbed the tree for said photos.)



i can't believe that we've come to that time of year again.

school time.

samuel and i have been doing school at home now for a few years. it has been great. really. it's super hard, sure. but really great. we like it.

and this year...



we have a joiner.

a kindergartener. man oh man.



we've had a total of 5 school days so far. 5.

it has been going well. we've conquered some new handwriting challenges, some new mathematical ideas and some discipline... things.

but as i've thought about school this past week or so, i keep coming back to myself.

the teacher. and my attitude.

it seems that the success of our days at home depends upon the strength of the very thin thread that is my attitude.

it can make it or break it.

i want to make it.

so badly.

i want our school year to be full of blankets outside. books read aloud. pictures drawn of stuff God has made. stories retold of Greeks and Israelites.

of smiles. of encouragement. of opportunities for growth and insight taken-- leaped upon.

and NOT full of my impatience. my sighs-- the list goes on.



these two are fantastic. i'm so glad i get to spend days with them.

this guy's cool too:



and as we all navigate another year of school, i'm thankful that my eyes are already seeing the importance of my perspective. glad i'm already seeing my need. actually glad that my eyes clearly see where i often fail.

so that i will ask for help.

He gives so generously.

here's to a good school year, friend. whatever shape yours takes-- may we be ready to see where we fail and in joyful hope ask the One Who knows and sees to provide. He likes us. He'll listen. He'll answer. i know it.

birthdays

i was just here:



like-- JUST. how many weeks ago? a few, right? but not that many, surely.





and then just like that, we've gone from this:



to this:



a birthday. a whole year. 52 whole weeks. you all know-- it's a blink. and yet, it's hard to remember life before those 52 weeks began.



the birthday was nice. a good celebration. but i found my own heart torn.

i got to lunch time and wondered. "hm. why on earth am i so crabby? where's the celebration, joanna? what's going on in there?"



and when i looked a bit deeper, i found some sadness. some loss. some mourning.



we've moved past paper-thin fingernails. past cuddles and nursing at 2 a.m. and beyond the days where i could set him on the bed and walk away. we're here now:



a fabulous place. i know. a truly fantastic place. but as i said goodbye to my very last baby year... i had trouble. just a little bit.



we'll be fine. we started animal sounds this week. he's walking while holding on to my hands with his little chubby fingers. taking those sideways steps that seem like they won't ever straighten into independent mobility. he says "bye-bye" in this sweet whisper-y voice. does a full palm-in-his-mouth kiss-blow. so many fantastic things.

the goodbye is never easy. it just isn't. this mysterious pull of good and sad all rolled up in a birthday. i should be used to it by now.

but i am confident.

we'll be just fine.

summer and after

well, hello there.

i don't know about your place, but mine has been in the full swing of summer.







we've had visitors.





we've had days where there is nothing on the schedule. and i mean it: nothing.





we've got a couple of birthdays coming up





and then, do you know what happens?



school.

school starts.

that's what happens.

school starts.

i do realize that i'm being overly dramatic, but you guys... school.

my breezy days don't feel like embracing the schedule and piles of not-done-yet work that accompanies the start of school.

but.

school comes, regardless of my attitude toward it. so. you know what that means.



an adjustment of said attitude is headed my way. i can feel it.

there are lots of wonderful things about school.
and my little miss is starting. how fun. alphabet crafts and button counting.
it really is bringing a smile just typing those sweet words.

we'll be ok, friends. i just know it.