school again

these two started school this past week.



yep. these two crazy cool kids.



(yes. i ask my kids to stand outside under a tree for their first-day-of-school photos. yes. i ask them to put backpacks on. and yes. they also climbed the tree for said photos.)



i can't believe that we've come to that time of year again.

school time.

samuel and i have been doing school at home now for a few years. it has been great. really. it's super hard, sure. but really great. we like it.

and this year...



we have a joiner.

a kindergartener. man oh man.



we've had a total of 5 school days so far. 5.

it has been going well. we've conquered some new handwriting challenges, some new mathematical ideas and some discipline... things.

but as i've thought about school this past week or so, i keep coming back to myself.

the teacher. and my attitude.

it seems that the success of our days at home depends upon the strength of the very thin thread that is my attitude.

it can make it or break it.

i want to make it.

so badly.

i want our school year to be full of blankets outside. books read aloud. pictures drawn of stuff God has made. stories retold of Greeks and Israelites.

of smiles. of encouragement. of opportunities for growth and insight taken-- leaped upon.

and NOT full of my impatience. my sighs-- the list goes on.



these two are fantastic. i'm so glad i get to spend days with them.

this guy's cool too:



and as we all navigate another year of school, i'm thankful that my eyes are already seeing the importance of my perspective. glad i'm already seeing my need. actually glad that my eyes clearly see where i often fail.

so that i will ask for help.

He gives so generously.

here's to a good school year, friend. whatever shape yours takes-- may we be ready to see where we fail and in joyful hope ask the One Who knows and sees to provide. He likes us. He'll listen. He'll answer. i know it.

home is beautiful.

welcome back to the week, friends.

our wheels have been spinning and spinning over here these days. it feels like we haven't had a free saturday since sometime in august. 

but this saturday was so lovely. quiet. slow-starting. we were out in the yard all together- kate "planting" cut flowers. samuel helping haul branches to the curb. we cleaned up and tackled a kid's-room rearrange. we were all together. here, at our home-place. what a blessing. 

i often take home for granted. kate began a fever/cough-filled week last tuesday, so we have seen a lot of this little place since then. and as i missed a field trip with friends (adult and kid), i was sad. feeling a bit stuck inside these walls. when i texted a friend to tell her i would not be along for the fun of thursday, she encouraged me to not be sad. "home is beautiful," she said. 

oh it is. these walls are a gift. including the walls with pink marker scribbles and dried glue from where someone decided to 'hang' their artwork.

the big window in the living room where i can see the front yard tree starting to change colors.

the bunk beds. the kitchen curtains. the bins of crayons. the legos in the corner. 

beautiful stuff. 

i'm longing for bigger eyes. i feel like that's a frequent plea for me. eyes to see as much of the good as i can take in. His beauty. all of it. right here. 

home is beautiful. 

happy week-start. may we have eyes to see. 

oh these kids

they are a delight. a joy to observe. i love joining them on adventures, sitting quietly for tea parties, answering wondering questions. all of it.



i do. i love all of it. and why do i miss out on it so often?



because of my own perspective/stubbornness/attitude, etc.



now there are going to be days where i need to be me. just me. a little space from the house, the parenting, the constantly being needed. and i think that's completely okay.

but i'm missing good things right in front of me sometimes. things i could enjoy. things we could enjoy. instead, i stick my feet deeper in the mud i'm in and declare that i'm not moving. not surrendering to a Spirit Who brings better.



i know that my Savior has given good gifts. i want to have my eyes open to them. i want to be moved. do i really enjoy standing firm in my muck of crabby? yeah, no. but in the moment i so often feel it is the only option. everything outside of myself needs to change. the problem could not possibly rest in my clenched fists and slanted eyes.



i know He has more. i know He will help me in the surrender. in the giving of the days and the moments- my heart and my attitude.

so glad He takes it all and does such better work with it all.

happy monday, friends. welcome to more good.

photo credit for this post: Mindy Bursch

one day each week.

i have about one of them each week.



one day. where i'm really productive. moving fluidly from one task to the next.



laundry sorting, to dish washing. bed making and then sweeping the floor. one day, where i see projects that need to be done and say, "hey. i can do that today." and then i do.



it's exhilarating and lovely. i actually make the banana bread that i should have made, oh, 4 days ago (the bananas were a day away from actually rotting). i write the letter that i have been longing to write, but haven't yet.

one day, people. it's sad.

i need to increase this average. any tips?

school's out

it feels like we started so long ago. the first day of school.



i made a days-of-school chart. 180 days. and when i drew all those tiny boxes, 180 seemed insurmountable.  but then there we were:



one day left. his sweet fingers put the last sticker in--



and like that- the year was over. we did it. one whole school year at home. and my little cutie-pants has made it pretty easy on me. we've read, learned what adding and taking away means, looked at bird books and bug books. we've learned about frogs and gone to the zoo to see them for real.

i don't know what i really expected when this school year began. like so many things in my life, i was a bit ill prepared. and perhaps he missed out a bit because of it. i'll never know.

all i know here, at the end, is that i loved this year. hard days? sure. days where i couldn't understand why he was crying and why he couldn't understand that 'together' and 'adding' were the same? yes. but all in all: a good year. we had it together. learned together. i learned more about him, and of course, more about myself.

a good year.

rearrange

done a little bit of rearranging around here. it has been refreshing.

we packed into the car and went to ikea and jamba juice (one of our favorite things).

bought some fabric and recovered some pillows that really needed it.

and then jason painted the dining room. i came home to a whole new space. crazy what paint can do.

then we had the great pleasure of moving around the small collection of art we have. i'm liking how things are shaping up.

(if you want to know- art in photo 1 by marco suarez and photo 2 art by joseph bradley. we're so glad to have such talented friends)

as we get used to old things in new places, i'm thinking on a small home show at a friend's (if you're in greenville and want details, email me and i will be sure to get them to you). trying to figure out what to make, what to let go of. all of that beautiful time management stuff.

school is hitting me between the eyes these days, the laundry pile, the dust corner, and still time with my Father on the couch is ending up on the list. it doesn't belong on a list, friends. it is above a list.

praying He continues to intersect my day all over the place- that i would have eyes to see His hand- and a voice that rejoices with a resounding 'hallelujah!'

home

heading home tomorrow. back to good ol' south carolina. home can be so relative. these are the places of my childhood. i learned how to drive in this city and walked with my uncle down these quiet streets. and i'm back to my spaces tomorrow. so strange. these people and places tug on my heart and draw me back here. to this home. and the kitchen waiting for me does the same. the voices on the phone and the love that will greet me when i walk out of that sweet small hometown airport. what do with all the longing...

it's been such a beautiful visit. so much more to write and think on.