community. again.

yesterday was a bit rough. for no apparent reason. and by 4 o'clock i was gasping for some metaphorical fresh air. texted a friend- threw out a line- and she grabbed on. after kids were bed-time ready, i left the house alone and drove to meet her with a mixture of quiet and very very loud music in the car. my heart a jumble of things i couldn't find.

we gathered together and poured out our days. and, slowly, out came our hearts. right onto the table.

neither of us had answers for the other, it seemed. but, once again, the beautiful mystery of the community He has made worked in the midst of two women looking at each other with honesty.

and i drove home different. smiling. thankful.

community rocks. i'm just sayin'.

holiday

what a wonderful holiday.

thanksgiving was filled with all the usuals.

friends and walks around the block. it was a lovely day.

oh, and french fries and ketchup for a kid who doesn't like any thanksgiving food. i figured that i make him eat stuff he doesn't really like every other day of the year. it's thanksgiving. he should be able to eat something he enjoys.

and i've very quickly moved on to celebrating this beautiful advent season. i just love it.

we decorated the tree and the rest of the house. kids with christmas ornaments. and hot chocolate mustaches. couldn't be better.

and i finally finished off all the things i needed to send off to my sister's. she is hosting a show in her home featuring my stuff and another friend's jewelry. if you are in michigan and would like to know where and when- email me and i'd be happy to fill you in.

i got it all piled and boxed.

it was a good feeling.

and the time off from life was so very nice. a true holiday. we did mostly nothing. saw friends. cuddled under blankets. read books and watched christmas movies.

but today has greeted us. with rain and school and dirty dishes. we'll turn the lights on the tree and read Cat in the Hat, i think.

happy advent, friends. the anticipation. the waiting. for the baby King. what a fabulous season.

willow's whispers

i have a sometimes-quiet boy. he doesn't let it all out in front of many people outside the small walls of our house. he has songs, pirate voices and awesome dances inside that little body. but they don't make it out if there are other faces in front of him. he can quickly become very reserved and... inside.

we recently made one of those trips to the library where we just grabbed whatever we could and brought it all home in a giant bag. one of the books we acquired in the mix was Willow's Whispers by Lana Button.

about a little girl whose voice only emerges in a whisper. in every situation at school, it seems she can never make her voice loud enough to be heard.

she decides to make a magical microphone out of a paper tower tube. and suddenly she can be heard.

i read it to samuel one night at bedtime and when i was finished i said, "i liked that book. what did you think?"

"i really liked it."

and he requested it each night after for awhile. which he never does anymore. he asked me to read it in the middle of the day- asked me to read it before supper.

of course, my overly expressive self, i tried to get more out of him as to why he liked the book. i asked, "what is it about this book that you like so much?"

"i just like it."

so we'll leave it there. i know he can be heard sometimes among the throngs of people- sometimes he finds his voice and uses it. but not all the time. maybe not even most of the time.

but he's doing just fine.

cutie.

i don't like dora

i haven't ever really heard a mom say she loved dora. i think her high pitched yelling is enough to send any parent over the edge of crazy. "hola! soy dora!" i can't stand it. she is not allowed over here. can't do it.

this disney princess take-over also gets under my skin. the pink, sparkly, puffed sleeve madness is too much for me. i've never been much for the girly stuff and now that i have a little girl, i find myself oh-so-subtly pushing this daughter of mine towards other things. outdoors. blue shirts. old books filled with medieval princesses and woodland fairies.

i have such clear visions of my kids reading books of poetry in their hand-made tree house and playing with their waldorf dolls by the fireplace.

but they don't. and as i talked with a friend about this earlier in the week, i told her my desire to push my agenda and ideal with my kids. i know this reality only grows as the days pass, but these little ones are, in fact, their own people. with their own preferences and leanings. these are my issues. my dislikes and odd tastes. nothing eternal stands in the balance here.

so maybe i should stop rolling my eyes- however slightly- at the request for the princess toothpaste. maybe toothpaste isn't worth the fight. maybe it's okay for her to only wear pink- though i've bucked the color for as long as i can remember.

maybe even now there is room for her to be her. and me to be me.

i think we can still be friends.

carrots and leaves

we harvested carrots. samuel loved it. so did i.

and it was beautiful work. we're not so much gardeners over here. we try. we aspire. but as much as i'd like to Animal, Vegetable, Miracle our lives, we don't get very far. small steps. carrots.

a bit in our freezer for winter soups and such. we'll be thankful as we eat our labor and the goodness grown from seeds given to us by a friend.

and our saturday wasn't filled with much. which equals lovely. a little crafting for a show my sister is putting on for me. it will be in michigan- i'm not even showing up. i'm shipping fabric-y yumminess and she's inviting friends. what a sister, huh?

and the leaves out front are falling. our golden tree is falling apart. new chips in the beautiful light daily. more branches showing and a larger pale carpet covering the grass.

perfect.

leaves. to throw and gather and throw again. what fun.

blessings on your weeks as you begin, friends. i'm longing to have eyes to see more and more good. i know it's there. He's in our midst. at the kitchen sink. in the laundry room. i know He's there.

sickness and dates

so we've been wrapped up with sickness lately. it's been a solid-good thing for us. lots of nothing. which i need.

my camera has been fairly bare, so not a lot to report here. though there has been a lot of knitting and some headband making. the camera hasn't made it out much. sorry.

but there was a show outside. a super amazing show with tricks.

and yesterday was my man's birthday. i tried creme brulee (yes. tried. jason is very kind, but... it was not a success. though he ate it happily.)

i made him an old-school card.

like the kind i used to make him in college. pasting together magazine clippings, collaging anything i could get my hands on, i would mail him a little envelope package across the states.

and then we went out on a date. as we were getting ready for it i realized that we hadn't been on a date since july. i know. and it isn't like we don't like each other- we really really do. but, somehow, "date" doesn't end up on the to-do list. it just isn't on the radar. it needs to be. it was so fabulous to have his attention without sharing it with his two smallest (and biggest, it seems) fans.

and even the quiet is so sweet when enjoyed together. the ride home, we just held hands and were quiet. beautiful quiet together. "date" is getting on the to-do list more. we're really going to try.

i absolutely love thanksgiving. almost 2 weeks away. i'm so jazzed. so so excited. hope you are anticipating the season ahead with joy and peace. i'm trying to cling to the joy and resist any spirit of stress or anxiety. we'll see how it goes. working on ways to be really intentional about that this year. happy anticipation to you.

missing

i know i've been pretty absent lately. the whole family has been sick. we had a weekend of not doing much. lots of tea and covers on the couch.

but things are looking up. fevers are gone. i think coughs are dissipating. slowly. and today is my man's birthday. so i'm off to make creme brulee. be back soon!!

a perfect imperfect day

things did not go as planned over here today. kate and i have both been battling some kind of head cold crazy. plans got cancelled. and today we stayed home.

kate slept really late. we didn't start doing school until about 10:30. i stayed in pajama pants all day. it looked like a very upside down day. but it was just perfect.

today was a reason i'm loving doing school at home. the day started with samuel and i on the couch- just the two of us- for about 45 minutes looking at our huge world atlas. we found countries, looked at ocean maps, he showed me things about the united states and the 'big lakes.' we ate a slow breakfast, did a little school- then took a break for baths.

we painted, read, did more school, and made hats (in honor of the letter "h").

we were supposed to have a busy day. and it was. just a totally different kind of busy. it was beautiful. topped off with time outside.

i know i can't do all of my days like this. i get stir crazy and so do my kids. but today was such a gift. school was not done by lunch time as it usually is. but no one cared. the air was relaxed and easy. i want to hold on to days like this. when the days are running together too quickly and i can't remember the smell of my kids... maybe we need to call in sick.

fall and such

we had a fall-filled weekend. sunshine, crunched leaves and cool winds. fabulous.

some good friends have a fall camping tradition to celebrate their eldest daughter's birth. and we spend the day at the camp site with them, drink percolated coffee and throw rocks in the lake. it's awesome.

my children were sufficiently smokey and dirty by the time we packed them back into the car. they made their own slide.

i love autumn.

and then we made our family's first jack-o-lantern. i don't know why it has taken so long. it took, what, 5 minutes? and he's just so cool.

i walked a neighborhood last night with a little astronaut and princess. she lasted about 10 houses. it was so very sweet and fun. took me back to my days as wonder woman, walking beside my big sister. being a kid. simple joy.

hope your week has started off well. kate 'has germs' these days, so we've been rather quiet. cinnamon rolls are rising in the oven. this is where it's at.