babies and surrender

around here, these past days, life has looked a little like this:

and i've been thinking so much about these little hearts and how they fit with mine.



saying such sweet things and loving the world around them. 'a squirrel momma!' yup. a squirrel. again. taking autumn walks with my explorers always leaves me smiling. they are such calm adventurers, my little ones.



looking for planes in the sky and marvelling, again, at the bright orange insides of the dull brown acorns.

and, friends, i'm trying not to succumb to my oh-so-dramatic tendencies-- but they are getting bigger. and they are saying things more correctly every day. and getting more acquainted with the ugliness of the world and of my heart. their eyes are opening to see more and asking questions about what they find. and i wish i could bring them back to that original paradise. i don't like the face my son makes when we talk about people disobeying God, the people banished from the garden and the lives that then followed. i hate that my little babies have that same ugliness inside them and will struggle towards obedience the rest of their lives. a delicate struggle that is sometimes easy-- but not always.

i know you moms know the feeling i'm writing about. i want to hold these precious heads next to me forever. and even though they are still small, i'm feeling a bit of the loss already of having to let them go. they are, after all, not mine.



and i'm praying that i will enjoy these days i get at home with them. that He would guide my actions and words. and that i would continue this daily surrender to Him of ALL things. He is the best of all caretakers.