digging deep

these days at home are sweet. mundane, but busy and full. and as the rain fell right after we ate last night, i sat on the threshold of the back door staring. breathing deeply and unable to stand. my view consisted of neighboring driveways, a mini wheelbarrow on its side and other small signs of child-filled life littered about the deck.

but there was a tree off to the right shining in full fall-glory. and another far off swaying in the high shower-breeze. and i couldn't get up. the smell was too intoxicating and my heart too full of things i don't like seeing in myself. i sat and thought about my day. filled with laundry, food, diapers and dishes. books about little bears, moons, and a mr. brown. and i felt so small. and i thought of my friends who had similar days. and i thought about their homes in the midst of the rain i was sitting in. and the view from their windows seemed much more romantic than my own. their homes felt brighter (better) than mine, with more peace and assurances of good.

and i knew as soon as i started the thought:... not true. each of my friends fights daily alongside me to find joy, contentment, patience, gratitude and love. and last night i reached down as deeply within as i could to find the good. and there was none. so, empty again, i fell into the Arms that will forever hold and provide. only He produces anything of worth in me. and i need His empowerment even to be His servant. and He again provided. Thank you Jesus. for the rain. for the truth. and for Your constant grace and goodness. i love being Your kid.

birds

thanks for asking, Beth. i have been working on the ornaments and found something i really really like. so satisfying. like the perfect snap of a barrette or the last piece of a puzzle. i don't want to be too dramatic about Christmas ornaments, but, i've been trying to figure this out for months! and i really like these.



they aren't done. they need tails. and they need their insides all stuffed. so right now i have a basket of limp little birds



but i love 'em. and can't wait to fill them and stick their tails on. i'll show you when i'm done. i'm excited. and thankful. not getting in that right creative groove can be so very aggravating.

and what do you think of the new playlist? any thoughts?

hope your weeks are humming along nicely. i'm striving to cling (cling!) to the truth of the gospel of grace. He will never let go of me. i'm so glad.

a weekend

well we had a weekend.



full of boring and exciting things.



i got to spend time with a dear friend here on break from haiti. we went to the mall (something i hadn't done in awhile). and greenville is now officially on the map. we have a trader joe's.



so we bummed around. made it up to the apple orchard and explored a waterfall together. but my camera was out of batteries. which is sometimes nice. i can get so busy capturing moments that i miss them. they pass through my lens without me paying any attention.



and my heart was full of turmoil this weekend. in the midst of what should have been a wonderful time with my sweet family, i struggled to find my thoughts and the source of my sometimes-frustration. i wish it was easier. to make sense of all that's jumbled within. emotion, thought, sin and His holiness dwelling inside it all. dwelling within the mess. i'm so glad He's there. what a comfort.

rest

well i'm giving this new playlist a shot. we'll see how it goes.

and i am looking forward to a blank weekend. i hope to fill it with fall-colored walks, some sewing, cuddling, a few friends and delicious food. praying i will embrace the opportunity for rest and not fill my hours with my all-too-common frustration and anxiety. hope the same for you.

ornaments and music

that's right. still working on ornaments. i'm a part of a small gallery ornament show in a few weeks and i need to come with something i love. so far...







i have small beginnings. that i'm not in love with.

i have fabric. i always seem to have fabric and i never have a lack of enthusiasm for fabric.







feeling a bit lackadaisical around here. but i have to be done with these ornaments a week from tomorrow. a rushed week looks inevitable. a new idea has been forming in my head, though... we'll see. i think what i really need is some owl city dancing with my babies this morning. join us-- you know you want to. :)

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i've got a question for you all-- i found a new music widget for this space that would allow me more song choice, but it wouldn't start automatically-- you'd have to press play. i can see this as an advantage and a disadvantage. what do you think???

happy thursday, friends. me we embrace whatever He has for our todays- relying on Him to supply joy and patience.

the small and mighty

saturday morning started out early. it was dark as i loaded up my husband's car and drove, with coffee in hand, through chilled air to a little fall festival. the station wagon was packed with my shelves, boxes, gear and fabric. and as i set up my table, the sun shot over the rooftop and hit my table with long shadows and brilliance.





it was a fun morning. good people with sweet little ones running around with painted pumpkins on their cheeks. so i sat getting sunburned for a few hours, meeting some new faces and selling a few handmades.


still my favorite. just love this runner.

and then we got to have a sunday filled with stuff like this:





and a late night hearing about God-filled life-change from friends we haven't had over in too long.

God's work in our lives is mighty and gentle. the pain that enters into our years creates clarity in the ones that follow. we are able to look and see things in ways we never would without experiencing the deep darkness. and He is good to us. good to show us His truth- to teach us reliance. i'm so grateful for what He grows in the dark-- out of the hidden mud. He grows beauty. and my life may be currently filled with these small pictures of fabric and golden curls, but friends: He has done mighty things. brought me through darkness into greater, clearer light. and i would be foolish to think the darkness will never come again. but hopefully i will know then what will follow: better. His good. He never leaves nor forsakes.

so here's to the big and little beauty in our days. the small pictures and the mighty works of His hand of grace. blessings on your week, friends. thank you for allowing me this space of reflection and rejoicing. community rocks.

garland tutorial

I think i did it. started small. my first tutorial. of more, i hope. we'll see.



made a little autumnal garland out of felt. super easy and cheap. i used 4 8 1/2x11 sheets of felt for one garland (they each cost 29 cents). brown thread and you're done.

so i drew myself a little leaf shape on a piece of card board, though a piece of cardstock, paper, grocery bag will work-- whatever you've got. mine is about 3 1/2 inches long.



cut out my leaf, stacked two piece of felt together and then traced the leaf as many times as i could on the top, cut out the leaves. Repeat for the other two colors (or however many you are using).





tada! leaves! Then arrange them in a stack in the order you want them to appear in the garland. My pattern was red, orange, brown, yellow. then you start sewing right down the center of the first leaf. when you get to the end, put the next leaf right up there. and keep sewing.





if you have a gap of thread in between-- no worries. i think it adds to the shape and flow of the garland. just keep going until all your leaves are sewn together.



and badabing-- a garland!





the felt is thin enough that the leaves ripple just a little bit and look more like leaves than pieces of felt. so easy, cheap and... i love it.

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stop by and see me tomorrow at the Greenville Classical Academy's Fall Festival and Holiday Market. I will be a vendor there (and selling one of these garlands). it looks like there will be a lot of fun things for the little ones.

If i don't see you, have a wonderful weekend, friends.

contentment attempts

we got to visit autumn. a little vacation through the seasons.





up to minnesota to see so much lovely family. this is where i grew up, where jason and i fell in love, married and started out together. and it is strange coming home to a place so familiar with little ones on your arms that you hadn't dreamed of when you left.





just strange.

we did the airport thing, several times:



got a layover in detroit so we got to see Bri and the boys! it was just the coolest thing.




i know it's blurry- but i can't stand the cuteness of the pose back there.

and then we arrived. we threw leaves around, walked, talked, gained about 15 pounds, and passed out at the end of each day.




the best and coolest grandma EVER.





these longings are so hard to place. i want so many things and get confused about which are things to fight for and which will only be satisfied in heaven. and i'm wondering today what to strive to change. there are so many relationships that i want MORE of. but so many live so far. i suppose i once again need to content myself with the reality of His reign and wisdom. He is in control of my hours and days. and i will strive to make myself available in the midst of each moment-- in the middle of my longings for things He has not given. He will comfort and provide. He said He would. and He has so many times.





glad to be home and digging in again where He has planted us. so many good things here. so many in other places. we are richly blessed.

home

heading home tomorrow. back to good ol' south carolina. home can be so relative. these are the places of my childhood. i learned how to drive in this city and walked with my uncle down these quiet streets. and i'm back to my spaces tomorrow. so strange. these people and places tug on my heart and draw me back here. to this home. and the kitchen waiting for me does the same. the voices on the phone and the love that will greet me when i walk out of that sweet small hometown airport. what do with all the longing...

it's been such a beautiful visit. so much more to write and think on.

notebooks, fall and insecurity

so i made these composition notebook covers. so cool! and easy! i bought a notebook, measured and cut. The length ended up being around 24" with the width around 12". Finished the edge on the top and bottom.



(added a stripe to this one) And then sewed on my little shapes.



(Design on this one inspired by my friend's tattoo. totally rocks.)
Cut a 5 x 2 1/2" piece, folded under the edges and sewed it on and down the middle for a pencil holder.



sewed the top edges on each pocket. and bada-bing. a notebook cover. these are for my niece and nephew. but i want to keep them. or at least make 5 more for myself. such an easy project.

also whipped out a quick change to our front door wreath.



it's fall. it's time. i used some templates from Martha , used Samuel's lightly used construction paper, threaded them all back to back. Then i fanned them out a bit and stuck some tape on the back so they would stay fanned out and looped the thread over a twig sticking out of the $2 grapevine wreath that I've had forever (from hobby lobby, i think). score. easy.

what else can i do with these beautiful leaves...? any ideas?



after all of this you may be surprised to hear how inadequate i've been feeling lately. feeling uncreative and fairly blah. i so quickly compare, weighing winners and losers, and frequently end up on the side of the scale touching the table. why, friends, must i weigh things at all? why can't i break free from this bondage of comparison and rely solely on His thoughts of me? i am a daughter of the King. my gifts are His. i am nothing without Him. and i can rest in His everlasting arms secure. the ONLY secure place.

and i've been forgetting. looking to things, people, praise, to win my worth and value. oh how very wrong and blind i can be.



we are leaving tomorrow for a trip up north. glad to be seeing loved ones but praying my feet will be planted firmly in the only ground that holds fast. that His face is all i would seek.