Wednesday, August 18, 2010

time passing

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today is my first born's fourth birthday. he awoke this morning, immediately stating, "I'm four." and then standing on his bed to show us how much he'd grown overnight.

and i will soon post pictures of all the joy and fun that was had today-- what a sweet celebration. but tonight i'm sitting with my mint tea, remembering the voluntary hugs i got this morning. and i can't believe it. 4.

the passage of time is hitting me hard tonight. and i tend toward the dramatic- turning everything into an excuse for cosmic reaching, eternal scope... tears. and i have been seeing my son as a high school graduate all day. the grooves in his heart & character i'm trying to create now will then be as good as they will ever get. and he'll leave. off to do what God has willed for his life. and my contributions will slow and cease. and the time will continue till He brings me to Himself. (i told you. dramatic.)

and i sit contemplative. grateful. that He has numbered my days and will grant me the peace i require to face them all. each one. and He is the only place, then, left to run when my drama overwhelms and i see the brief brief time i get with these precious remarkable souls.

i will run.

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some flashback photos. a little 2 year old.

3 comments:

john and keri said...

happy birthday samuel! I love that picture...that's how i remember him :)

Briana said...

THanks for the reminder to slow down and see my kids today. And, for the reminder that God is where we get filled up. Love that boy.

erica said...

o man! what a good song choice too! just such a lovely picture of your heart jo. thank you for that. sweet boy. sweet sweet boy. i've been thinking about him as an adult the past couple of days too. who will he be? i started crying at dinner last night as i prayed for him and just that his heart would be His and His alone and i just was overwhelmed by the fact that God is good and faithful and as andrew says, "his promises are true." love you. (totally am crying and can't see because of acidic oil....dramatic).