today is my first born's fourth birthday. he awoke this morning, immediately stating, "I'm four." and then standing on his bed to show us how much he'd grown overnight.
and i will soon post pictures of all the joy and fun that was had today-- what a sweet celebration. but tonight i'm sitting with my mint tea, remembering the voluntary hugs i got this morning. and i can't believe it. 4.
the passage of time is hitting me hard tonight. and i tend toward the dramatic- turning everything into an excuse for cosmic reaching, eternal scope... tears. and i have been seeing my son as a high school graduate all day. the grooves in his heart & character i'm trying to create now will then be as good as they will ever get. and he'll leave. off to do what God has willed for his life. and my contributions will slow and cease. and the time will continue till He brings me to Himself. (i told you. dramatic.)
and i sit contemplative. grateful. that He has numbered my days and will grant me the peace i require to face them all. each one. and He is the only place, then, left to run when my drama overwhelms and i see the brief brief time i get with these precious remarkable souls.
i will run.
some flashback photos. a little 2 year old.